Can you read lips?

Every time I meet a hearing person, the first thing that comes out of their mouth is, "Can you read lips?" It's one of my biggest pet peeves. I have gotten so sick of people asking me if I can read lips. You folks may not realize that but it is RUDE! Stop finding an easy way out! Not all deaf people are an expert at lip-reading and not even the most experienced lip-readers can catch everything being said. It's really rude to expect something from us Deafies that would be more benefical to you when it is not to them. (The same idea of an American travelling to another country and expect someone there to speak English. If you ask someone, "Can you speak English?" you'd be told to fuck off.) You're leaving all the burden of communication on the deaf person. Lip-reading is not easy.

Be considerate and contribute in your part in making the communication between you and the Deaf person a success. Be willing to communicate with the Deaf person via alternate means, such as writing back and forth or use gestures. Be more creative. If the Deaf person can read lips and prefers that way, he or she will let you know. Just don't ever ask him or her if he or she can read lips.

I prefer to communicate with non-signers via writing. That way it distributes the work and effort of communication between two persons equally. Plus, it reduces the possibility of misunderstanding one another.

You'd be surprised but Deaf tourists travelling to other countries have much easier time communicating with foreigners than the average hearing American would. Foreigners, especially in Europe and Latin countries, are much more expressive and are used to gesturing. When a Deaf person tries to gesture the most simplest, basic idea to an American, that person would stand there with a blank stare and goes "Huh? What is he saying?" I'm sorry to say this but Americans are STUPID when it comes to the most simplest, basic form of communication which is gesturing. Million of times I'd ask someone for a paper and pen by gesturing with my hands, mimicking the action of writing on paper and would recieve a blank stare or a "huh?" from them. How is that so hard to understand?

Like I said, BE CREATIVE! There are ALWAYS alternative ways of communicating.

Now, if the Deaf person insists to lip-read, here are some tips:

• Speak clearly and slowly (nearly normal pace). Don't speak too slowly or you'll just aggravate the person you're speaking to. It helps if you gesture with your hands as you speak but don't overdo the gesturing.
• Keep your hands away from your mouth, and that includes smoking while talking! It's difficult to lip-read when the mouth is covered (DUH!). It may be difficult to lip-read one with a moustache, but if you have a moustache, try to keep it clean and trimmed.
• Always maintain eye contact at ALL TIMES.
• If you need to get that person's attention, gently tap him or her on the shoulder. Don't wave in front of that person's face or walk around to get in front of that person. If the person is out of arm's length, don't EVER EVER EVER throw things at him or her to get his/her attention (even if you aimed for whatever it is you're throwing to miss that person). Walk up to that person and get his/her attention.

The next time someone comes up to me and ask me, "Can you read lips?", I'll respond in sign language and say, "Can you read hands?"